Domestic Violence

I decided to read the article When Home Is No Refuge for Women by Nilanjana S. Roy.  I found this article on the New York Times website.  When Home Is No Refuge for Women is a courageous story about two women, Nita Bhalla and Meena Kandasamy, who speak about the reality of domestic violence in India, and how to survive after a violent marriage.  Both women are seen as very professional, educated, independent women and both hold very business professional but their empowerment was no protection against abuse.

They took action but each of them saw different results. Ms. Kandasamy found shelter with her sister after she left her marriage and she tried to explore the possibility of legal action after being abuse.  Ms. Bhalla didn’t take that route, she tried to seek help but her family and friends decided to “turn the blind eye” because in their eyes domestic violence was common.  Also in Nita’s case her friend and family didn’t help because they feared it would escalate and will cause more harm to Nita’s health because they believed that the abuser never wants a spotlight on their actions. This article expresses how only one in four women who had experienced domestic violence in their marriages sought outside help.  This just reminds me of the reading we had to do written by Roberts, “Introduction: Myths and Realities…” Roberts explains how there are myths and realities when it comes to domestic violence.  One commonly held belief regarding domestic violence is that it only occurs in lower socioeconomic classes. Although the lower class is most likely to report abuse, domestic violence occurs in every class, race, and religion just like in this article how it is common for domestic violence in India. Another belief is that all batters are psychotic and cannot be helped. These men can be helped with the assistance of prison, and counseling this is why Ms. Kandasamy wanted to take legal action so she can help her ex-husband.  Another commonly held belief is that battered women who remain in a violent relationship do so because they are masochistic. These women stay in abusive relationships for many reasons, but this is not one of them. Some stay for the children, some cannot afford to leave, some have nowhere to go because they have been isolated, and some are afraid for their life if they leave just like most of the women in India.

This article also expresses how most Indian women are in an unequal environment.  You basically live in your parent’s house and then meet your husband.  Once you have met your husband you care for him live in his house and are not longer able to live with your parents.  This reminded me a little about Goldman, “Marriage and Love”.  Basically what really is the purpose of marriage and what marriage is like for women?  Goldmen expresses marriage as giving up some of their womanhood, like their name, privacy and respect.  When a woman falls in love she expresses her love even more by marriage.  It’s a women ways of taking the next step.  It’s been the thing to do once you’re in love marriage was the way to go and this is how women in India see marriage.  But what happens when there’s violence in their husband’s home?  Why should women end up homeless?

Roy, Nilanjana S. "When Home Is No Refuge for Women." The New York Time. 27 Mar. 2012. Web. <http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/28/world/asia/28iht-letter28.html?_r=1&ref=domesticviolence>.