I conducted my interview with my eighty year old grandma, Sally. I have to admit I was a little bit nervous asking her about some of her roles as a women and how they have changed (or not changed, for that matter). First, I will give my grandma's background. Sally was born in 1931, a depression baby, she tells me. Her mother, a first generation German woman and her father mostly an English man. She tells me that her mother always reminded her of all the different illnesses she contracted as a young girl- rickets, whooping cough, pneumonia, and a congenital heart murmur to name a few. She remembers, as a child, her father telling her mother that she could not work. I asked her why she had thought he said that and she told me that “it would have made him look like he couldn’t provide for the family”, even though they were not well off financially.
At the age of 17, my grandmother married my grandfather, Franklin B., to whom she is still presently married- 63 years now! My grandma tells me that all women married young. She had just graduated high school and was married the summer after graduation. She knew even as a child that her life would be that of a housewife and stay at home mom, as my grandma stated, “it was what was expected of you.” She did not get a chance to go to college and she could not think of any of her female friends that went on to college.
My grandma reflected on her high school years when girls took typing classes and boys were enrolled in mechanics classes. I asked her if girls could take the mechanics classes, and she replied, “Girls wouldn’t think of doing it.” Shortly after her marriage to my grandfather, the women’s rights movement came about. I asked her what men’s attitudes were regarding the women’s movement. My grandma stated that, “Most men didn’t care for it. I think it scared a lot of them.”
Patriarchy was such a dominant characteristic of every family during that era, and my grandma’s reflections show just how prevalent they were. Patriarchy is defined as a “system where males dominate because power and authority are in the hands of adult men” (Shaw, Lee p.5). Feminism was something that was undoubtedly frowned upon in my grandparent’s era. Especially the equality and justice of women as defined in our textbook. Even to this day, I do not think I could get either of my grandparents to proclaim themselves feminists, without laughing.
As Baumgardner and Richards state in their article “A Day Without Feminism”, “..girls probably take home ec; boys take shop or small engine repair. Boys who want to learn how to cook or sew on a button are out of luck, as are girls who want to learn to fix a car“(p. 31). This was a restatement of what my grandma had told me about the type of gender stereotyped classes school kids were put in. There were not any alternative options for kids who wanted to fit out of the gender stereotype. My grandma had also mentioned that she would have loved to be on a track team, but they just did not offer it to females in school. This is also reflected in our text “A Day Without Feminism”. Girls do get physical-education and basketball, but not sports like soccer, running, nor are there any varsity sports for girls.
I learned a lot of new things about my grandparents and just how much they were affected by our very overbearing, patriarchal past. It was interesting to see how my grandma put up with and sometimes subs ceded to society’s expectations. Will I let this negatively change my perspective towards my grandparents? No, never. Do I wish my grandma was given more opportunities as a woman in her generation? Yes, of course. I think the chains of patriarchy held back my grandma and many other women from becoming all that they could and wanted to be.
Works Cited:
Works Cited:
Baumgardner, J., & Richards, A. (2000). A day without feminism. In S. Shaw & J. Lee (Eds.), Women's voices feminist visions classic and contemporary readings (pp. 30-33). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Baumgardner, J., & Richards, A. (2009). Women's voices feminist visions classic and contemporary readings. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Sally B. - phone number available upon request.
Society in your Grandma Sally’s generation was very different from ours. Sometimes they get stuck in the old ways and still think the same. Even though she might not realize is that she is more of a feminist than she thinks. In her generation it was normal to marry, have children, and be the house wife. Your grandpa didn’t want her to work even if they weren’t well off because it would have hurt his masculinity and he didn’t want people to think that he couldn’t provide for his family. In “A Day Without Feminism”, states that there were virtually no child care centers, so all preschoolers were in the hands of their mothers, a baby-sitter, or an expensive nursery school. So it was accepted from her in that time of her era to stay home and take care of the children, do household chores, and be a loving wife to your grandpa. Women were taught to listen to the male of the house and be a loving wife. It was what they consider normal. Just like how we thought it was normal to go to college as it wasn’t for their women generation. Things were very gender oriented at her time. Tell the congratulations for lasting 63 years together what an accomplishment. I notice women in the era stayed with their husbands longer than today’s society.
ReplyDeleteI think it's interesting that men have always been more consumed with the image of their situation than the well being of themselves and their families. Not saying it's intentional because as a man I know most of us want the best for our families but we do not always do what is best for our families. It seems like it would have been best for your great grandmother to go out and work to help bring more finances into the house but because of how those outside of the home would have viewed it, your great grandfather did not allow her to. The fear of him being looked at as less of a man made the extra finances seem like they weren't worth the trouble. As a man this is a bad habit I am trying to shake off. We are very prideful creatures, so it takes a lot of effort.
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